The Single Adjustment That Made a Difference: The Way I Overcame Post-Work Tension Through an Surprising Find in the Attic

One frequently become like a coiled spring after work. My shoulders grow tense, breathing becomes rapid and shallow. Typically, the sound of my laptop lid slamming shut would be followed by the squeak of a cork pulled from a bottle of red, the wine hastily sploshed into a glass, that first mouthful putting a much-needed full stop on the working day.

Later, a few months ago, I discovered my now-adult son’s old school recorder up in the loft. Curious, I blew into it, instantly reminded of the time when it drove me crazy – his daily rehearsals felt like an attack on my ears, the sharp sounds echoing in my mind long after he slept.

Instead of throwing it away, I brought it downstairs, along with a book – Very Easy Recorder Tunes. Growing up, I had no musical talent whatsoever. I’d had recorder lessons at infant school, but never had the opportunity to learn other instruments.

Googling “how to play the recorder”, I watched dozens of YouTube videos aimed at children, and got a fingering guide on paper. Looking up simple recorder songs, I felt excited when I played a recognizable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Yes, a typical young child could learn it quickly, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it felt like a huge achievement.

My son questioned my actions (and begged me to quit), but I persevered – I enjoyed the sensation the recorder gave me. Forgetting notes easily meant I had to concentrate on the sheet of paper in front of me, and carefully mimic the finger placements. My breath calmed, my attention sharpened, and once I’d mastered that first faltering tune, I was overjoyed. I could play an instrument.

Today, after some months, I can “play” other nursery rhymes and a passable Ode to Joy. Sure, my rhythm is off, and I must jot down note names, but to me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it is simply about the pleasure it brings and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which was no doubt music to parents’ ears, but it made me a little sad and nostalgic for my own school days, as well as my son’s.

I make it a habit to play each night after work before I do anything else, and during those 20 minutes, I escape into my own realm. And afterwards, I feel totally energised and uplifted.

My friends think it’s hilarious, but one very wise therapist friend told me that I was reducing stress, but improving my cognitive skills, like memory and sound processing, which is invaluable at my time of life. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s truly an ode to joy.